Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
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