I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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