used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
