you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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