she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
