dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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