Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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