that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
