I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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