After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
