separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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