that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
