i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I love having hate sex.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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