I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
