I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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