how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
