Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
