The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I need to align my fucking chakras
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
