Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize