People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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