I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
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