therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Life is so much better after having sex.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Everclear isn't food dammit
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
