i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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