dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
