What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
