make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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