Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
