ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
