We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
