I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
