Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize