Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
