all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
