So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
