I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
