69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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