five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize