Having a random hookup so left but love u
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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