can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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