Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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