Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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