my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
