i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
