Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
