worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
