It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize