singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
