She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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