I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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