Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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