For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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