sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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