It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize