we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
