how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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