Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
