Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize