you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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