I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
