So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
