When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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