1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
