my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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