What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
