She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
