You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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