Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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