he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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