so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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