I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize