I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
