How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Sext me about skeletons
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
