i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
