chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
